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dunno who wrote this but its fairly amusing Mar. 30th, 2005 @ 11:13 am
To: All Members of my Regime, and my faithful servents
From: Martha C. Piper, Dictator and Leader
Date: 24 March 2005

I write to tell you that today I have informed the UBC Board of Governors that I shall be stepping down from my position as Owner of UBC in June 2006. The years I have served as President have been the most financailly successful years I have ever lived. I have been privileged to work with outstanding generals and admirals on a wide variety of projects, and encountered some of the biggest paychecks of my career. Helping UBC in its quest to become the largest construction site in North America, and highest grossing organization in the world has brought me immense monetary satisfaction, and I am grateful to have had the opportunity to work with all of you during this critical period of UBC's destruction of the environment and increase of tuition. By the time I leave office, I will have made over seven million dollars from your tuition money. Over this period we have struggled much together. I now believe that it is a good time for me to step down and for UBC >to find financial security with the help of a new leader. The process of selecting a Dictator is long and complex, and so I have made my decision public today in order to allow the time necessary to select my successor. I particularly want to thank our Chancellor, Allan McEachern, and our Military Counsel, John Reid, for causing minimal bloodshed in this matter. Over the next fifteen months I intend to devote myself completely to furthering the goals we have set for ourselves in UBC's strategic plan, "Make Martha Rich"; thereafter, I look forward to taking some time to think about the money I wish to pursue in the next phase of my life. This has been a difficult decision, because UBC has come to mean a great deal of financial security, a home, two cars, a tennis court, and fame and power to me, and it will not be easy to leave behind; but I believe that this is the right step for me to take, both for tax purposes and for the sanctity of further tuition increases.

Martha C. Piper

Jan. 28th, 2005 @ 03:56 pm
hi i'm new here...i'm not currently enrolled @ UBC but it is one of the school which i am strongly considering for my undergraduate education. i posted in the UBC community, asking people what they liked/didn't like about the school, and got some wonderful feedback. however, i did take a notice in this community as well, since i've gathered the impression that some people on here may currently have issues or complaints in regards to UBC. in efforts to get as well of a variety of opinions in possible so that i can truly make the best choice when it comes to university, i post here to ask...

why do you think UBC sucks?

i've already been directed to many of the fine points of this school, and i'd be pleased to hear some negative UBC feedback also so i can make a well rounded decision. thank you.

Like your UPass? Jan. 28th, 2005 @ 12:32 am
Okay folks, the UPass program which grants us a monthly unlimited bus pass for 20 bucks a month is in danger of being discontinued. A referendum is being held January 31-February 7, 2005. If 4000 votes aren't cast UPass will die even if the votes do cast favor continuing the program. UBC has not been publicizing this referendum much, which is suspicious. Please vote and GET OTHERS TO VOTE! Mention this. Send that email around. Nag your friends. Mention it to classmates. Etc.


Current Music: child's play - ghostface killah

uh yeah Jan. 5th, 2005 @ 01:12 am
So, first day back. It was as good as the first day of a new term at UBC can be, which is to say I only yearned for the sweet embrace of death a dozen or so times. Nothing remarkably stupid happened today, just the stultifying banality I've sadly become accustomed to by now.

I picked up a copy of the latest Ubyssey, which had some hilarious stuff in it about some inane AMS controversy. What a bunch of dorks.

The Ubyssey is crap by the way. It's so sedate and middling. I guess it was foolish of me to wish for passionate and intelligent writing on culture and politics from university students (?!). They don't even have a comics section.

But really, the main reason I'm writing this entry is because of Student Directed Seminars: http://www.vpacademic.ubc.ca/Learning/sds0405.htm

It's not really the seminars themselves I want to complain about. It's the fact that these topics had to be proposed by students before they could become courses in the first place. Look at the seminars that have been created this term. Some of them sound lame but some are actually pretty cool, at least based on what they're supposed to be about:

International Relations: Critical Theories & Representation

20th Century Continental Philosophy in Context

Persian Poetry: Classical to Modern

Development issues in Africa

Politics of HIV/AIDS in Africa

Maybe it's just me, but I find it kind of mindblowing that they weren't being offered as part of the normal curriculum already. Why does UBC ignore critical theory and continental philosophy? Why does it ignore AFRICA, for fuck's sake? Isn't it sort of stupid that there are so few opportunities at the undergraduate level to study world literature (aside from East Asia, I guess, but even that's iffy)?

Miss Me Oct. 22nd, 2004 @ 01:02 am
I'm new here. First-year. Totem. These are my words.

My only gripe right now is with the buses - not UBC's fault. I want to be able to use my damned UBC card to get on the bus. Oh, and I hate that Magda's is so expensive. And that they turned the old bus loop into a parking lot. And that I wasn't good enough for the the fucking cheerleading squad. Oh and the damned computer system kicked me out of my English class without asking me, too. They did that some time in late August. I think because... they felt like it. I'm done.

If you see a girl with black cat ears on running around campus, feel free to say hello to her. I don't bite too often.

Other entries
» Greetings.
Yo. You'll have to forgive any typing mistakes as it's late and I am tired.

My name's Graeme, and I commute from Burnaby dialy and am an Arts Undergrad.
I am not sure entirely how much I will be able to contribute but we'll see, won't we?

I suppose I will jump right in...

I have several frustrations with UBC, first and foremost being their housing program. The building houses on university land to sell to people who - by their own admission - won't necessarily be affiliated with the university for profit is stupid. Their excuse is that it will make money for new programs and will better the university. I say that if they spent our tuition the way they were supposed to - on scholastic needs, not townhouses, they wouldn't need to try and make money this way. The university seems to have lost sight of it's original purpose and that is to provide education. They aren't supposed to be building houses, they aren't supposed to be real esate developers, they are supposed to be a school! And not a school for construction workers (which is what it seems like some days), a school for the academia! We're supposed to be an Ivory Tower, for chrissakes, not a bloody city!
» So we've had some new members as of late.
So we've had some new members as of late. Do any of you have anything to say? Sure, we're all bogged down with schoolwork and shit like that these days, but it'd be cool to get an introductory post from someone, a quick rant, something. Heck, even a fresh comment about this Berber Learning Centre would be cool.
» Everytime a rich man talks about "learning," I reach for my pistol
So, walking around campus, ya can't help but notice that the beautiful old library has been seriously vandalized. Most of it got knocked down, a lot was stripped of the beautiful stone exterior, etc etc. Now signs are up announcing the construction of the Ivring K. Barber Learning Center (http://www.ikebarberlearningcentre.ubc.ca/). Irving K. Barber, the site says, is "a visionary thinker" because he has thrown a lot of money at physical construction projects to create prominent public spaces NAMED AFTER HIMSELF. Oh damn, that's what I call "visionary thinking." Hurrah. This asshole made his fortune in forestry, he's the founder of Slocan apparently (one of the most evil of the logging companies that have raped our province). Now, I'm not against resource extraction, and I'm very much in favor of employment of people... good paying jobs, that for years were associated with the logging industry. But Slocan, nonetheless, has been very evil.

There are signs up around the main library, and a plaque near the clocktower. It's horrible... the words are literally all meaingless eduspeek jibber jabber. Go read them. A beautiful old building has been defaced, in favor of what looks to be a really ugly new piece of crap. The practical content of this "learning center" looks to be quite dubious.

Images under the cut.

Read more...Collapse )
» (No Subject)
Heh. Might as well.

First Rate Edcuation.
» "Golden Key"
So, UBC is trying to get me to sign up (at the cost of $85 ahahahaha) for some "Golden Key International Honour Society." Fuck that noise. It's open to the... top 15% of undergraduates. Ie. it's open to so many people as to be meaningless. The invitation came with not one but TWO form letters, one from Piper. What's especially sexy is that the thing makes out like it's this exclusive society open only to a select few, but the letters are addressed to "Dear Student." If it was actually open to a small group of select people... I suspect they'd at least manage to address it more personally.

If I bring one of the letters to some lameass BBQ between 11 and 2 on Monday, supposedly I score a free burger and a pop. But I suspect it means being proselytized to and stuff. There's no fucking way I'm joining, but if I can score free food and like, get a ridiculous story out of this... perhaps I should. We'll see.

Oh, the crap they sent me includes all this stuff about how deeply involvdd various evil corporations are, to prove legitimacy and supposedly demonstrate job opportunities...

"Golden Key is pleased to partner with leading corporate and non-profit organizations who value excellence, achievement and service. Our corporate partners have made a commitment to providing opportunities for members who are interested in careers with high ranking companies including....

Boeing Company
Bank of America
IBC Canada
Ford Motor Company
General Mills
Merch & Co. Inc
Pepsi Bottling Company
RSM EquiCo
Teach for America"
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